The Myth of “the One”

Did you know that there are currently 33 million widows in India some as young as 5 years old? These widows often have to live in separate communities and have no rights to remarry and are often forced into begging. In the modern western world, where divorce is as commonplace as marriage (not that this is a bad thing as you’ll see below), we may have forgotten that for many cultures, the concept of a woman having only “one” divine right partner has serious physical ramifications.

Less insidious but no less limiting is the concept of soul mate when it comes to the idea of “the One.” As a person who has worked in the energy field for over a decade and having looked into the akashic records of many, it has always struck me as cruel and false to think that a person has only 1 soul mate in a lifetime. What if the person dies? A friend’s sibling is dealing with this concept now as he just lost his wife after three years of marriage.

If you believe in the concept of a soul mate, then I would guess that you probably then also believe in the concept of a soul. And if you believe in the concept of a soul, you may also believe that there is more to you than just the physical body, and if you believe that, then you may believe that there is a Source from which you were born. If you believe in a Source, what are the qualities of this Source? Is it limited in scope? Is it based in lack and fear?  Or is it infinite, abundant, an all encompassing unconditional love?

When I look at people’s paths, if the person is single, I see a plethora of options if the person is wanting a relationship. And I’ve witnessed others who have had multiple beloveds throughout a lifetime. It makes sense doesn’t it? If the Universe is pure abundance that there would be an abundance of possibilities for a mate? While it is romantic to think that the person you are with is the “one and only” you may want to question why do want to believe this idea?

For many people it has to do with the concepts of safety and security. There is often a fear that if there is an abundance of choice out there, then what if I choose the “wrong one”, what if there’s someone better? And then if you’re feeling insecure,“what if no one else will love me?”

But if you were to believe that there is only One, then you would have to deal with another concept, “what if this person is the One and they die? Or if you’ve yet to find your “One” then “what if I missed the boat?”

There is also this concept of Twin Flame, which is an even trickier premise. Here there is the concept that very rarely, a twin flame (the first split of the energy that became your soul and theirs) incarnates. Well, let’s suppose that this is true, and most people don’t have their twin flames on the planet. Does that mean that their relationships aren’t really “all that” or that they don’t have the chance to have a truly phenomenal, ecstatic love life?

I’m impassioned about this subject because I see too many women allowing fear to rule the reasons why they either stay in or out of relationship for too long. I see too many women missing out on having the time of their lives!

When we speak about “How your connection to the Divine will guide you to “the One” we are speaking about you coming into communion with the divine that is within. Once that communication is established, then ecstasy and an honoring of self is the norm. AND THEN any romantic relationship that is attracted in this situation is joyful beyond words. This is not to say that the relationship does not have contrast, life will always provide contrast as it is THE active ingredient in all of creation. However, the more you are able to maintain that connection to the true joy that you are, the easier it is to attract and maintain relationships (of all kinds) that are rooted in love, expansion, self expression, and delight.

All my love,

Bella