Did you know that there are currently 33 million widows in India some as young as 5 years old? These widows often have to live in separate communities and have no rights to remarry and are often forced into begging. In the modern western world, where divorce is as commonplace as marriage (not that this is a bad thing as you’ll see below), we may have forgotten that for many cultures, the concept of a woman having only “one” divine right partner has serious physical ramifications.

Less insidious but no less limiting is the concept of soul mate when it comes to the idea of “the One.” As a person who has worked in the energy field for over a decade and having looked into the akashic records of many, it has always struck me as cruel and false to think that a person has only 1 soul mate in a lifetime. What if the person dies? A friend’s sibling is dealing with this concept now as he just lost his wife after three years of marriage.

If you believe in the concept of a soul mate, then I would guess that you probably then also believe in the concept of a soul. And if you believe in the concept of a soul, you may also believe that there is more to you than just the physical body, and if you believe that, then you may believe that there is a Source from which you were born. If you believe in a Source, what are the qualities of this Source? Is it limited in scope? Is it based in lack and fear?  Or is it infinite, abundant, an all encompassing unconditional love?

When I look at people’s paths, if the person is single, I see a plethora of options if the person is wanting a relationship. And I’ve witnessed others who have had multiple beloveds throughout a lifetime. It makes sense doesn’t it? If the Universe is pure abundance that there would be an abundance of possibilities for a mate? While it is romantic to think that the person you are with is the “one and only” you may want to question why do want to believe this idea?

For many people it has to do with the concepts of safety and security. There is often a fear that if there is an abundance of choice out there, then what if I choose the “wrong one”, what if there’s someone better? And then if you’re feeling insecure,“what if no one else will love me?”

But if you were to believe that there is only One, then you would have to deal with another concept, “what if this person is the One and they die? Or if you’ve yet to find your “One” then “what if I missed the boat?”

There is also this concept of Twin Flame, which is an even trickier premise. Here there is the concept that very rarely, a twin flame (the first split of the energy that became your soul and theirs) incarnates. Well, let’s suppose that this is true, and most people don’t have their twin flames on the planet. Does that mean that their relationships aren’t really “all that” or that they don’t have the chance to have a truly phenomenal, ecstatic love life?

I’m impassioned about this subject because I see too many women allowing fear to rule the reasons why they either stay in or out of relationship for too long. I see too many women missing out on having the time of their lives!

When we speak about “How your connection to the Divine will guide you to “the One” we are speaking about you coming into communion with the divine that is within. Once that communication is established, then ecstasy and an honoring of self is the norm. AND THEN any romantic relationship that is attracted in this situation is joyful beyond words. This is not to say that the relationship does not have contrast, life will always provide contrast as it is THE active ingredient in all of creation. However, the more you are able to maintain that connection to the true joy that you are, the easier it is to attract and maintain relationships (of all kinds) that are rooted in love, expansion, self expression, and delight.

All my love,

Bella

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF singing a song over and over and over again, especially one that is emotional, during a break up maybe?

It’s cathartic, allowing us to fully feel and express our emotion before we choose to move and release it to the Universe. Right?

Well, it depends on how you use it.

One of the largest breakthroughs I’ve had in understanding the Law of Attraction has been around re-framing what emotions are and how they work.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “don’t be so emotional”, or “get a grip on your emotions”, or that women are “overly emotional.”

During my childhood I was always labeled as overly emotional, but now I’ve come to understand why that was, and also how once you understand the true nature of Emotions, your emotional sensitivity is actually your largest asset!

As it turns out, emotions are not creative.

I repeat EMOTIONS ARE NOT CREATIVE.

The beliefs that underlie an emotion are.

Emotions are simply INDICATORS.

They indicate what you believe about a particular subject. And what you believe is what you attract into your experience.

At a recent Abraham-Hicks workshop, someone asked them “what is thought” and “what is thinking”. The answer was that “thought” was an offering of vibration and that “thinking” is simply what happens when you focus your attention on a thought long enough that it starts to attract like vibration or thoughts to it. There really is no process of thinking, there is only focus and magnetizing.

So how does this relate to feeling? Let’s say your lover just broke up with you (which you did not want) and you try to understand what happened. You start to think, “I don’t want this, I can’t believe he doesn’t love me.” As you focus on this belief, other thoughts like it start to aggregate, like “there’s something wrong with me, I’m too old, love is painful, etc. etc.” And hence the feeling of sadness, even depression comes about and you find yourself belting out Bonnie Raitt’s “I can’t make you love me.”

The emotional song just indicates what you are currently believing. And then, one day you find yourself sick of depression and revenge feels better than a forlorn song about losing a love. Why is that you think?

Because your belief is shifting. And believe it or not, if you started off feeling grief, revenge is actually a vibrational improvement, it is more empowering than depression. And anger is even more empowering than revenge.

This is not to say that one ought to stay at any of these beliefs for long or to take action on these feelings because they are still not in vibrational alignment with the truth of who you are, but rather that if Powerlessness/Grief are the bottom of our emotional scale (the point of most disconnection with the Truth of who you are), then you’ll know that you are coming back to life when you move up the scale from anger>discouragement>blame> worry>doubt etc.

In fact, using Abraham-Hicks Emotional Scale as a reference, I’ve  matched up various love songs to the different emotions so that  you can discover where are you vibrating when it comes to love.

Seeing what song you’re attracted to, you’ll see where you are at on the emotional scale.

And once you discover what it is, you’ll know what song to reach for next, because you’ll find that people can’t just jump from one end of the scale to another, the difference in frequency of vibration is too vast. However, you can move up incrementally, and you can even do it by listening to the songs that are right above where you are. Just make sure to GO UP THE SCALE!

ENJOY!

1. JOY- Love can move mountains – Celine Delion

2. PASSION Ain’t No Mountain – Marvin Gaye, Vision of Love, Mariah Carey

3. ENTHUSIASM/EAGERNESS/HAPPINESS  These Words – Natasha Beddingfield, You Send Me – Sam Cooke, My Girl – The Temptations

4. POSITIVE EXPECTATION/BELIEF – Unwritten- Natasha Beddingfield,

5. OPTIMISM – Kind and Generous, Natalie Merchant

6. HOPEFULNESS – Believe – Cher, Cupid -Sam Cooke,

7. CONTENTMENT – Don’t worry be Happy – Bobby McFerrin, Private Party – Indie Arie

8. BOREDOM – Are you having any fun?- Count Basie – Tony Bennett

9. PESSIMISM- What’s Love Got To Do With It- Tina Turner

0. FRUSTRATION/IMPATIENCE- Hung Up – Madonna

11. OVERWHELM – This Love, Maroon 5

12. DISAPPOINTMENT- You don’t bring me flowers-Barbara Streisand

13. DOUBT – Galileo – Indigo Girls

14. WORRY – Will you still love me tomorrow?

15. BLAME- Because of you – Kelly Clarkson

16. DISCOURAGEMENT – You’re so gay- Katy Perry, Love is a Battefield – Pat Benatar

17. ANGER – I will survive- Gloria Gayor

18. REVENGE – Before He Cheats- Carrie Underwood, Wake up Call – Maroon 5

19. HATRED/RAGE – You’re so vain, Carly Simon

20. JEALOUSY- Don’t cha – Pussy Cat Dolls

21.  INSECURITY/GUILT – If I never see your face again – Maroon 5

22. FEAR/GRIEF/DESPAIR/ POWERLESSNESS – I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

All love, Bella

Bella Shing is a Spiritual Love Coach who helps people who believe in the Law of Attraction to Manifest their Beloveds by understanding first and foremost how to be that for themselves.

She publishes the monthly “Beloved Training” Ezine where you’ll get Tips, Resources, and Inspiration on how to be the Beloved all the time. Get your Free subscription at: www.manifestingyourbeloved.com

If you are single, you may have had moments of pure envy of your friends who are partnered and if you are partnered you may have envy of your friends who are single.

Happiness is not determined by coupledom alone. For those of you who know about my work, you know that the key is to be able to access your own inner wellspring of unconditional love, the essence of who you truly are, and as you do so, all the relationships you attract are a match to that which you are.

In the old paradigm, women were portrayed as desperate if they didn’t have a partner. Courtship was often about survival or prestige first and love or rather what suited your personal desires last. Dating was not about exploration or discovery (at least not on a conscious level). Actually this concept is still perpetuated, that there is something wrong with an older woman who isn’t in a relationship, just look at the TV show Cougar Town. Or rather, don’t look at it if you want to feel good.

The truth of the matter is that the evolution of “relationship” on this planet happens as people experience a diversity of pairings, this doesn’t necessarily mean lots of sexual partners, it just refers to interactions (some short, some long, some intimate, some not).

All of it, serves the whole by creating more preferences and desires and helping the ever expansion of the Universe. And it is in the intensity of these interactions, that people (spiritual giants really) that creates expands exponentially, more than it ever could without interaction.

For most of you, I know you want the “One”, a person perhaps the only person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or at least a person you’d like to co-create with for a good while.

Wonderful! But if you aren’t there yet, and you want to accelerate the process, my recommendation is to date, and date profusely.

Why? Why put yourself out there you ask? Why expose yourself to possible judgment, rejection or having to reject someone? Why risk loving someone who doesn’t love you back?

Ahhhhh, because it has nothing to do with them. It has to do with you. It’s all about Your self discovery. It is to serve YOUR personal expansion.

Do you realize that YOU are an extension of Source energy and the YOUR preferences are important, valued, and part of what literally expands all of creation? In the dating process, you are exposed to variety, and with variety, your desire is increased.

You’ll find yourself thinking thoughts like, “I like this person’s passion for life but that person’s groundedness. I like this person’s intellectual knowledge and that person’s respect for nature. I like this person’s creativity and that person’s attention to detail. I like soft curly hair, and soulful eyes.”

And of course you may find a lot of things you do not want. All of it is vitalizing information and as you stay open, Source takes ALL of the information and CREATES the life of your dreams.

All you have to do is match the vibration and that BIG LOVE will tumble right into your life, warm embracing, thrilling, everything you wanted because YOU WANTED and ALLOWED.

So what is the stance, the attitude to take in order to milk the most out of your time as a “single” person as you head towards a love that will satisfy you for a long time to come?

Date passionately, and mine each person for their magnificence. Allow each and every interaction to spark curiosity, to reveal to you your likes and dislikes. Allow yourself to deepen and broaden your experience and understanding of the variety and brilliance that is Source expressing itself as human.

Expect to be surprised, to be humbled (in a beautiful way) by the LOVE that is all around you. And USE your dates to come into alignment with who YOU are, to get into YOUR joy.

USE the dates to reflect to you your own fascinating and magnificent self!

In love and joyful expectation of your ensuing love affair with life,

Bella

When Drew and I first started dating, I noticed that he would make me laugh uncontrollably and then he would say that I was the only one who thought he was funny.

Now, that may not seem like a major flaw in a relationship, but after awhile, it began to grate on me. I thought to myself, “hey I have good taste in humor, and his modesty is actually about him not knowing his true genius and it isn’t serving anyone.” Don’t get me wrong, Drew is confident and has healthy self-esteem, but I knew that there was a diamond in the rough here when it came to his talent as a comedian.

So I started to envision him knowing who he truly was, I started feeling into what it would be like to be around him with him glowing with recognition and validation for his genius, and I started to notice that our friends would remark to him out loud, how hilarious he was. Since then, he’s written his first screenplay that  has been affirmed by many of my friends in the industry as a hoot and joy to read (which is saying a lot).

It’s been a phenomenal journey that has not only supported him but me. I’ll be producing and directing the script and there is nothing more exciting to me than co-creating with my beloved.

Let’s take an example that is more irritating. Let’s use a relatively harmless example. Say your lover, boss, friend is repeatedly late, it’s understandable that you would start to expect them to be that way. You could say you have “just cause” in expecting this because they’ve demonstrated this behavior consistently.

However, what if you were actually helping to create them as a “late” person through your expectation of their tardiness?

Sounds a little bit like, what came first, the chicken or the egg? You’ve probably heard such quotes as “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” but you’ve also probably heard such phrases as “You bring out the best in me.”

Just how powerful is your focus and attention on another human being?

Much more powerful than you’d think.

But you might say, “It’s not me that is attracting their behavior, that’s just the way they are. And my other lovers weren’t like that.”

Other lovers may not have been, but somehow the dynamic is active in your field. Who knows how or where you picked it up. You just find yourself waiting for them, for the 15th time.

Can you change their behavior by your expectation of them?

YES YOU CAN.

It’s very odd, but this is just how powerful you are when you tap into your own ability to focus. If you can shift your expectation of someone, one of two things will happen.

Either you will ONLY rendez-vous with them when they are on time, or else ONLY people who show up on time continue being in your life.

And how do you change your expectations of someone?

Now that’s the tricky part.

You’ve accumulated some evidence right?  Some water under the bridge, maybe even a roaring river : ). You may have even complained about it, commiserated with some friends and bonded over it, created artwork around it.

It may even be some trump card you pull out in an argument such as “but YOU’RE ALWAYS late!”

So here is a powerful tool to use to neutralize such a pattern and energize what you ARE wanting.

#1. Ask yourself, “What need am I getting met by having this person demonstrate (their unwanted trait) in my life?”

You may be very surprised to hear the answer. Often it can relate to issues of power, control, validation, attention, justification. In other words, it’s a falsepouting benefit. There may be some sort of need that it is fulfilling for you but at a cost. You may get some sort of edge about having something to hold over them in a power struggle about who loves who more, or use it as a reason to have the person give you more attention.

#2. When you hear the answer, forgive yourself ; ), acknowledge your need and start looking at where you can get that need met in a positive way. In this instance, if it’s attention, then have your lover tell you what they most appreciate about you. If it’s control, know that you can control the direction of your focus!

#3. Then make a list of what you DO appreciate about your partner.

#4. And when you are starting to feel happy, THEN start to visualize them as you’d like to experience them. In this instance, you’d see them being on time, early even.

You can do this with any relationship in your life. And again, it doesn’t matter how much evidence you have of them being a certain way, if you are persistent and insistent about how you are choosing to see someone, making lists of all their wonderful qualities, they will start to demonstrate only these aspects to you.

I’ve had women use this process on aggravating bosses, co-workers, friends and lovers. Some have found radical changes in their partners, others have found that co-workers were replaced or that they themselves got new private offices with their own view for instance. Others still have manifested new lovers with exactly the qualities that they have been asking for.

I do not recommend doing this work with someone who is abusive to you. The vibrational difference between cruelty and kindness is vast, so the time, concentration and effort for you to shift the pattern while still being around this person is often too difficult to stabilize. Rather, get to a place that is safe, do the work of shifting your expectations and allow trustworthy people to enter in your life with the new qualities your Higher Self has manifested for you.

And watch as your world is remade in the image of your desires.

All my love,
Bella

So, I bet you’re curious, monsters, and maidens and dungeons oh my…wait that’s another story, yes Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz.

All these fair maidens besieged by monsters, why?

When I looked into my own energetic system this weekend, I saw these dark images in my first chakra, the seat of a person’s life force energy. It’s the center for our beliefs about tribe, family, community, and survival. In mine, I saw a dungeon, a woman bound and guarded by ugly, decrepit monsters.

I was shocked. What were they doing there?

Fortunately, I have powerful tools to shift vibration but I was curious. They seemed to have been triggered recently. What were these images about? I knew that no dark thought, projection or image has its own life force, meaning, there is no source of shadow, shadow is only an effect of light.

I wondered if by merging with the actual images of these demons, that I could release the energy behind them.

As I did, all of them shed their dripping, ugly masks and turned into beautiful young men.

The maiden was free, her shackles were never real, they were made of cloth and easily shed. And the emotion that I uncovered underneath was sadness.

The beautiful young men weren’t actually men, but rather a symbol of the divine masculine within me. My imbalance of working too hard had turned them into monsters and had put my divine feminine under wraps (literally).

The only thing that could free her was this act of self- love. It was my celebration of Beauty, a weekend getaway with my honey, with devotion to self-care and romance that allowed me to see this information and through inner alchemy turn the inner masculine into a prince. I felt a flood of bliss enter and the day that followed was pure magic.

So I invite you to do a scan.

Sometime today sit quietly and look within. Feel into your body, and even if you do not see images, identify the emotions. And when you encounter tension, rigidness, anxiety, go deeper into the feeling or image and see if you can feel the power that holds up this belief.

Reclaim this power with your own inner light and Beauty.

All my love,
Bella

Have you ever walked by a Valentine’s display and found yourself bristling with irritation? Or have you watched as others received flowers and cards and felt suddenly dejected?

It’s not uncommon. However it’s completely unnecessary.

Imagine instead that Valentine’s Day could bring a blissful smile to your face because You knew that it was all about honoring YOU.

Valentine’s day is simply a day to celebrate love. And did you know that this is the core vibration of who you are?

Here are a few tips to help guide you to that ecstatic feeling of letting the Universe love you.

#1. Expand your container for pleasure. One of my favorite books on the subject is Patricia Taylor’s “Expanded Orgasm.” You don’t need a partner to be able to achieve a state of expanded orgasm which is very different from regular orgasm. It is a state of surrender, expansion, and rejuvenation rather than contraction and depletion (which a lot of orgasms can be). Ultimately, as you learn how to achieve this ecstatic state you are in communion with your higher self and are training you to receive much more from pleasure from a partner.

#2. Dress as if you were going on a date with the most amazing person in the world (YOU of course). What would it be like if you adorned yourself as if you were honoring the Goddess’ handiwork?

#3. Send yourself a love note. Pick one that particularly thrills you. Write a message to you from your Higher self about how much you are loved. Put it in the mail this week!

#4 Make plans to pamper yourself all weekend long!
Engage each one of your senses. Sight, Touch, Sound, Taste, Mind and Spirit. Here are some ideas:

-Make a CD that puts you “in the mood”
-decorate your room with fresh
-fill your fridge with fruits and snacks befit a goddess
-have movies on hand that inspire and uplift you!
-have a spa date with girlfriends

It is time that we claim this day of love as a celebration of the Beloved as ourselves and in one another!

All my love,
Bella

Did you know that the shamanism of southwestern Nigeria is called “Ifa” which means “wisdom of nature.” It is home to the Yoruba nation which is composed of 20 million people who believe in a completely different world view than what you and I are used to in the Western world.

“Ifa teaches that everything in nature has some form of consciousness called ori, and it teaches that the world is a multi-dimensional reality.

Most forms of shamanism teach the idea that the visible world is influenced by invisible worlds that co-exist in the same dimensional space as the physical world.

The invisible realms are usually called “Spirit Worlds”. The word “spirit” means “essential nature” or “essence”. From a shamanistic point of view Spirits are fundamental Forces in Nature that help shape the physical reality perceived by the senses in a non-altered state of consciousness.

From an Ifa perspective learning how to empathize with the consciousness of a cloud is a way of retrieving information related to future weather conditions. It is also the first step in learning how to influence the weather.”-Taken from “The PK Man Seen From an African Perspective ” by David Wilson

As a young metaphysical intuitive, my teacher taught us how to do just that. While we didn’t study Ifa, but rather the law of attraction, the premise is very similar. Everything in the physical world is simply an effect of the vibrational or non-physical world. We are mostly non-physical vibration with just a portion of ourselves projected into the physical world. And we exist in both places at the same time.

So, when we tap into the vibrational reality of who we truly are as massive non-physical extensions of Source energy, we can access our vibration of not only well-being but also delightful weather – (this may be thunder storms if you so choose).

10 years ago, I understood the metaphysical concepts intellectually, but I didn’t really “believe” that we could effect the weather, I needed proof. So one Saturday morning, as we sat in her home with the storm clouds forming in the horizon and with a forecast that predicted 90% chance of rain, thunder and lightening, she informed us that we would spend the day, outside, crystal hunting.

She guided us through a simple meditation where we all visualized and felt that our day was going to be glorious, bright, sunny and supportive of our adventure.

We then got into our cars and drove 30 minutes out to a quarry. For 6 hours, the sun warmed our backs and we lost track of time. Each woman found pieces of crystal. Some were small pieces, cloudy, some large and clear. We were ecstatic, oohing and ahhing about one another’s finds and completely forgot about the “weather” that we were supposed to be having.

On our drive home, we noticed the sky darken drastically, as well as the wetness of the road. Branches and trees felled by the thunder storm that we had somehow missed littered our path. Power was out in different parts of the county, yet we had experienced not a drop of rain.

This experience left a deep impact on me and is so similar to the information I have since received about the Path of the Beloved.

When we are in alignment with what brings us happiness, when we are expecting the best that life has to offer, when we intend for love to appear to us in every interaction, then we access the reality that cooperates with our desire.

Do not listen to the weathermen/women who predict gloomy skies, do not listen even to your own past experiences where you were caught in torrential storms (especially, if you didn’t like them). There are so many reasons why we may have chosen consciously or unconsciously to experience drama in the past.

It is all unimportant, because like weather, creation changes by the second and so does the forecast.


All You have to do is predict love in every moment.

All my love,
Bella

So, celebrating. What’s so great about it?

It’s interesting, in the West there isn’t a whole lot of celebrating that goes on. If you work a day job, most likely you get a few weeks off a year and then the national celebrations are often about forced consumption, forced intimacy (with family) and forced travel (No wonder why the holidays are considered by studies to be one of the most stressful times of year). Or, more personal celebrations are done through inebriation and distorting the physical senses through some type of drug.

While these kinds of celebrations do help us release resistance so that we can feel the joy that we inherently are, unfortunately, we are not lucid enough to do the vibrational work that is necessary to actually sustain that kind of joyous connection while we are sober.

So, what activities other than inebriation and drug induced releasing of resistance can help us get into that vibration of confidence, clarity, joy, and passion?

Here is a wonderful tool that I use to assist women in getting into that state of well-being while they are fully present in their bodies. It also serves as a wonderful ritual to help complete the year and start of the next year in alignment with your higher self!

1. Take out a piece of paper and a pen.

2. Make a line down the middle of the paper, splitting it into 2 columns.

3. Write down January 2009 (in this case) in the left column and list underneath it, everything significant that happened in that month (regardless of whether you view it as positive or negative).

4. If positive, ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers next to the item in the right hand column.

A. What personal qualities did it take for me to have this happen?
B. What benefits did I receive from this?

If negative, ask yourself the following questions and also write down the answer in the right hand column.

A. What qualities did it take for me to overcome/resolve this. (If you haven’t gotten over it, ask this question as well, “what benefit do I gain from holding onto this experience?”)
B. What powerful desire has been born as a result of this experience?

5. Do this for each month.

I recommend doing this before you do any visioning or goal setting for the New Year. It helps to make sure that you are clear about what desires are already wanting to be born, as well as serves to activate powerfully more of what you are wanting thus giving your vision of the new year, legs!

Here’s to love, prosperity, & your knowingness of your own magnificence!

All my love,
Bella